I made a new friend a couple of weeks ago! I never would’ve expected to find someone so familiar in the dog food aisle, but I’m so glad I did.
The dog food aisle? How does that happen? To be frank, I can’t remember exactly . . .
It may have been me that made a comment about the price of dog food, or did she say something about brand choice? Regardless of who spoke first, there’s a warm, friendly feeling that some people project and she had it in spades. But I think I’ve learned to be more open and friendly to people as well.
Growing up in Moab I didn’t have many friends. I had plenty of acquaintances and school mates, but very few that I would consider friends and confidants. I was a painfully shy wallflower and kept my feelings bottled up. High school drama class introduced me to my outgoing, creative side, but for the most part she made rare appearances. I hit a personal low when, going through my divorce, I was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. That came as somewhat of a shock because I didn’t feel antisocial, but I had to admit I had gotten good at pushing people away and not recognizing friendly advances.
So how did I go from that introversion to chatting for an hour in the dog food aisle at Cal Ranch? Lots and lots of practice and patience with myself and a few good examples along the way.
As small children my brother and I would get bored “to death” waiting for Mom in the parking lot of City Market. She’d say, “Go to the car, I’ll be right out,” and that was our cue that we’d be out in the hot car for at least half the day . . . at least it felt that way. She had an incredible knack for knowing everyone in town, where they came from, their family and just had to get caught up on the latest goings on. To us kids, sweltering and bored out of our minds, it was an annoyance, but in the year she died I saw just how many people were touched by her interest and thoughtfulness.
Dad on the other hand has always had a hard time with names, but he can strike up a conversation with nearly anyone. It doesn’t matter the subject, travel, Moab, engineering, math, Minnesota . . . he’s either been there, wanted to go there or done that, or at least something related. If nothing else, he’s got questions and stories for you. So between Mom & Dad I had plenty of exposure on how to strike up a conversation.
The final piece of the puzzle is our dog Dora Belle – so named because she’s adorable. Dora is certain that everyone is her best friend. She approaches everyone, whether she’s meeting you for the first time or has known you all her life, with a huge smile and her whole body wagging. Anywhere we go we tell her we’re going to see her best friends and she has no reason to argue. We have only had her for three years, so I didn’t totally learn friendliness from her, but she’s helped to cement into my personality lately.
I’ve come to realize that if you are near someone, if you have even the semblance of a friendly demeanor and greet them, they generally respond positively and sometimes you can make someone’s day. I’ve taken to saying “Good morning/afternoon” and “How are you today?” as I get on the elevator or start a phone conversation. Those little interactions often start a conversation, however brief or lengthy and I see people go on their way with a little smile of their own. Well worth my time and effort to cheer up my little corner of the world. As I’m out and about if I catch myself without at least a smirk I think of my sweet Dora Belle and how she would be wiggling and pickled tink to meet her new best friend.
I’m thankful to my parents for showing me how people can be touched by simple acts of kindness and interest. But I really want to thank my new friend for her openness and willingness to share an hour with a complete stranger. I hope we can get together for lunch or something one of these days and learn a bit more about each other and I look forward to learning about her and her life.
Once again, thank you all for sharing part of your day with me and supporting me in my writing.
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