What were you doing twenty years ago today? So much has transpired in the meantime I almost forgot what a momentous day that was for me.  The upheaval in my life started the year before, in 2002.

Picking Up the Pieces

Mother’s Day 2002 was the day my world and dreams as I knew them fell apart. My husband at the time, after giving me with the kind of gifts you give someone you don’t know, presented me with divorce papers. Along with the legal notice, he promised a life without my son if I contested his one-sided plan for our separation. After a lifetime of poor self-esteem and what I now realize was gaslighting by G—, I could do nothing but feel that I was out of options and my life might as well be over.

The one thing that saved me that year was the knowledge that my son needed his mother. I didn’t want to put him through the pain of losing me at only eight years old. That summer was the beginning of a period of deep depression for me. I couldn’t enjoy music and I lost the love of reading and crafts I’d always done. I simply trudged through life, working to take care of J— and worked to figure out how to proceed without the family I’d built.

Just before it was too late, I went ahead and hired an attorney and had my divorce contested and began a custody battle that would last several years. On top of all that, I could not afford on my own the home we’d purchased and G— was not willing to continue paying the mortgage, but wanted the house for his use.

Finding My Strength

One of the most important lessons I learned that year was the willingness of everyday people to help a person in need, as long as you ask. I figured out how much I could afford for monthly housing, started looking for a home and called the loan officer we’d worked with previously. I explained my situation and they and my realtor helped to find the financing so I could buy our little house with the shopping cart in the yard.

Tuesday, January 28^th, 2003, I spent the afternoon signing all the documents required for closing on our new little home. I was both nervous, proud and thrilled. Nervous because I was agreeing to payments on my own for the next 30 years. Proud because I knew I had done the work to make sure I got a good deal and a sturdy little home. Finally, I was thrilled at the possibilities ahead of us. Along with my son and help from Mom & Dad, we could make our home perfect for the two of us.

We’ve now celebrated many birthdays, both J— and I falling in love and marrying, beloved pets passing on and the joy of adopting new fur kids. There are stories galore that have been set in this little house, friends and neighbors we’ll cherish forever. After what seemed like an eternity of my life falling apart , I was finally starting the uphill climb out of depression and misery. On top of it all, that day helped to cement my belief that I can do whatever I set out to do, with perseverance and a bit of help.